How hard it is to convict a sex offender
88How hard it is to convict a sex offender
Many misconceptions about convicted child molester have gone around the internet and everyone’s home table. It is often the general believe that if a child accuses someone of molesting them that the person is arrested, a trial is set and the person becomes a convicted sex offender. When after reading this article you will find a much different scenario which is not only scary, but when it was presented to the state of official in charge, it was not a shock, most of them tried to explain why it was done this way. The first thing to keep in mind is that everyone is innocent until proven guilty except a victim, and most victim right bills do not pertain to children.
When a child comes forward to explain what they has been done to them they are hard to believe, often times because they do not have an adult mentality and they cannot use words or explanations that give someone the perfect description of what happen to them. That is why having special counselors and train professionals are needed from the beginning, and why they should not be made to confront the person they are accusing of the crime. From the point of coming forward often times an exam is ordered, however unless the child molester is very comfortable with this victim or they were caught in the act chances are the exams are only going to show swelling, or soreness, that any defense attorney can and will try to explain away. Even raped women who wait too long don’t show signs of physical rape just emotional rape, however, with children it is the emotional damage that usually gets the conviction. If the police were not involved up to this point, they will get involved after the examination regardless of the results, again don’t expect this to happen quick, there second step is to talk with the accused. This is where things really start to slow down and make it hard to convict a sex offender.
Of course the child molester is going to deny ever doing anything wrong, often they will offer proof of their innocence by offering names of other children they have been around or character witnesses who they know would never believe such a thing. The next legal move is to get everything from the victim interview, exam and the accused interview to the prosecutor. The prosecutor will then want to visit with the victim, explain the process, many times let the parents know right from the beginning that they will do everything in the power of the law to get a conviction; however, because of shows like CSI and Law &Order many jury’s find it hard to convict a sex offender when it is their word against a child’s. Of course no parent would be willing to give up that easily and want to pursue in the conviction, the next move is to take the evidence in front of the grand jury. When and if the grand jury decides to proceed, it is at that time an arrest and a bail is set. Keep in mind from start the child coming forward to the grand jury decision the time frame is 3-6 months. Once the arrest is made there are pretrial’s and motions that will last at least 6 months to a year, parents who can’t take much more are usually left with 2 option, allow for plea deal of time served or the accused does not have to be on the sex offender registry, or they can drop the charges and move on. As time moves forward if the victim and parents can hang on, when the trial approaches they get to listen to accusation of what is going to said to their child, and possibly what they will be accused of. The days of leading up to the trial will offer many plea offers, rejections, just a complete emotional roller coaster at which time the trial will begin.
In conclusion to convict a sex offender it is no easy task, nor is it a quick one. In total 1-2 years is normal to gain a conviction, if a family is lucky when the arrest is made the accused sex offender may not be able to make bond, leaving them in jail until after they are convicted. Of course that is if the jury selected actually convicts the accused, remember a victim that has been through counseling for over a year is not going to appear as traumatized as one that was just molested. It is also hard to listen to a child tell a story that doesn’t sound as detailed as an adults. How many times have you figured out what a child was trying to tell you by deciphering what was actually said, I know my wife used to tell me everything my kids said to me, I didn’t have a clue. So how easily can someone on a jury take that as a lie, or reasonable doubt, destroying a victim who stood up for themselves to get justice?
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The thing to remember here is children who's story doesnt add up will never see the inside of a court room. I agree a false accusation could be devastating to a grown adult, although most false accusations have some truth. It may be another person or something they did that set off the memory and the truth will come out. Child molestors are not like rapist, they dont pick a victim off the street run up and molest them. They take the time to get in good with the family, they can manipulate the situation and make it so no one believes the child accept a small few. Even after those that get convicted make up stories of what happened. They are well liked, usually excellent with children, close family members or friends of the family. Prosectutors do everything they can to keep these cases out of a court room because they never know how a jury will react. More times than not child molestors have to really leave a lot of evidence to be convicted. Its not like a child says this happens and the person is sent to prison, the child is put through extensive therapy and repeated questioning before this ever see's the inside of a court room. Then think about this do you think one child molestor ever says yes i did it. No they dont see a child comming forward as out to get them and are distraught about losing their control, they dont care one bit about the life long trauma they have caused the child, or the fact that this now could be a future child molestor.
>> "The thing to remember here is children who's story doesnt add up will never see the inside of a court room"
When you say "the inside of a court room," you must mean a trial. Because the reality is that it's far too easy for a child to come to the police station and share their abuse memory... and have that lead directly to the arrest of the accused.
The police investigator has NO interest in checking facts... as long as the child's story is somewhat reasonable... and as long as the child can name somebody... there's going to be an arrest. The cops figure that the court system will separate the guilty from the innocent.
If the arrest comes without warning, chances are there's going to be an overnight stay in jail until the accused can appear before a judge... indeed, the accused gets to see the inside of a courtroom (and the inside of a jail cell) before any of the "extensive therapy" and "repeated questioning" occurs.
It does take a lot of time and effort for cases to actually get to trial... but I don'think it's due to prosecutors' concerns about the jury... the real reasons that few cases go to trial is that 1) many accused can't afford the $20k-$50k it takes to bail themselves out of jail and hire a defense lawyer and 2) the state offers plea bargains that are usually accepted by the guilty and/or poor.
I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, just providing a wider perspective... :)
Both of your answers helped me out greatly. Thanks.
I dont disagree with your own experiences because each state has different ways of doing things. Michigan and Kentucky both require an investigation be done first and the final decision go infront of a grandjury, where the accused has a right to give testimony before an arrest is made. In general but now always, any lawyer who feels the prosecution has some proof but a weak case they make sure that their client never ends up on the sex offenders registry. This issue isnt black and white, or right or wrong. You are not accused and then arrested at least not in the two states I have mentioned. Plus even if it does one day go to court and someone desided to take a plea, would you plead guilty to being a sex offender with a felony, i know i wouldnt. Talk to sex offenders not one of them on the registry admit to doing anything wrong, it was always someone lied or they where tricked into thinking the person was older. I know one guy who swears it was statutory rape and the girl lied about her age, and yet the victim was 9 and he was babysitting her. You could meet this guy and ask him what happen and you will never get the truth. Do children lie, yes they do, can they be tricked into making up a story sure. A traumatized child who was molested is not going to have a hard time convincing people what happened, if given half a chance. A child that lies is going to change the story over and over and they will never be able to remember what lie they told. Molested children may remember new details but they wont change the facts. I dont disagree a man falsely accused would ruin his life, and he will never be looked at the same again, by people who dont know him. However a guilty man will never be looked at differently by those who he has fooled into trusting him. Why because those that trust him dont stop, its only the outsiders who didnt trust or know him that look at him different.
well wisconsin doesnt seem to have to do an investigation even if the children wait 3 and 5 years to come fourth and the man they acussed is happily married with children of his own and living another state but that doesnt matter because the children said so and then said man and his wife who knew nothing of his past is put in a jail cell for over a week and beaten by other inmates and while the guards turn their backs so this can go on and then dcs steps and takes 3 innocent children away from every family member they ever knew even thou all 3 of those children were check tested and talked to and no big surprize nothing had happen to them great justice system we have i shocked we don't go back to hanging people in the streets and for your information we are guilty until proven innocent in this country as far as i can tell
someone I know molestated a 13yrs girl in my home twice. He also molestated another 14yr old girl. Once he took to a hotel and once in our home. He has now been arrested. They do have evidence with him signing into the hotel and the clark testify she witiness him going in with her. They have 159 text message between the two. She brought her and her friend to the house, which he took the other girl in the bedroom. Both girls and all witiness with testify. He did run to NY. The U.S Marshall picked him up and brought him back. We are now awaiting pre-trail. He did bond out. He is not allowed to leave this county and has to report in 3days a week. Do you believe he has any change of getting off without doing any time at all? Any information will be helpful
What if the parent of the abused child calls the accuser and goes off on him, then he immediately get a lawyer? Now he cannot even be questioned! What can we do now? He refuses to take a lie detector test or to talk to investigators.
i can only comment on the uk system having been involved in a number of abuse trials- the main problems are the issue- it is horrible, even when they are now adults it is so terribly hard for the victims- often the abuser is a family member or friend.The witnesses often children find it hard to be specific over dates because they are so traumatised and have a childs awareness of time. I found that juries were reluctant to convict where the evidence was not 100 per cernt solid as they dont want someone to be put on the register- it is horrible.. but the only way that this can be addressed is by victims reporting to the police
I want to know about what if the person that is being accused of the crime is the father of the daughter that he has been doing this too? The child is 3 years of age and can barely talk. She is too young to understand what is exactly going on. I need advice to help me make her safe. I don't care if I have to put the father in prison to get custody.. and also; if the child is taken by state, can another family member take custody? please contact me if you can help in any way shape or form:
maries_hbic@yahoo.com
thank you for any information you can help me with
Hi Im 24 my 26 year old now ex bf was molesting my 15 year old sister who lives with me.. we have text messages to prove it...however the detectives dont even care!!! how can i bring this sick fuck to justice?
please email your responses to sgfelonie@gmail.com Thank you!
Heathir,
I am sorry to hear of your troubles getting someone prosecuted, I too know how difficult this can be. I always recommend try notifing local law inforcements first, howerver if a detective is not willing or able to respond,it may be best to get a hospital, child advocacy center or local sex counslor to report the crime as well. If you can get other's involved and report the crime it becomes harder for local police to ignore. Many times they dont feel they have enough to prosecute;however with more physical or mental evidence it often helps law inforcement to prosecute. The main problem with prosecution is so many people still dont believe this goes on. Almost everyone i know can tell me of someone falsly accused and how a person was falsely found guilty, although that is after talking to someone who was found guilty and come up with a story on why or how their victim lied. I am not a professional in this area, although I do have plenty of experience in this area, I alway recommend counsling right away. The main reason is so your sister can get the resources available by your state to help her. Each state has different programs that can help her and often times help in the prosecution of the offender. I wish you the best of luck and feel free to contact me at any time.
If a child was molested by his stepmother years ago and the child is now an adult, will that person have the right years later to convict the stepmother? The Child lost his childhood and possibly father one of the Stepmothers children. The Child at the time was around 12 or 13.
Hi, I have a question I am hoping you can answer for me, or atleast point me towards where I can find the answer. In 1992 my father was convicted of Sodomy 1,2 & Sex abuse 1 for sexually abusing my brother. I was sexually abused by him as well, & when my brother testified in court it was decided that I was not old enough yet (I was 7) & so in 1994, when I was 9, I went to trial against my dad, He was then again convicted on 1 more Sodomy 1 charge & 2 Sex Abuse 1 charges. He was sentenced 20 - 50 yrs & is still in prison. I received a letter from my father a couple weeks ago out of no where & in this letter he portrays this made up story he created in his head about how he never abused my brother & I, those things never happened & he is trying to convince me that we got the idea we were being sexually abused by him from sneaking out of our rooms when he came to visit & witnessed him & our mother engaging in sexual activities on the living room floor. BULLSHIT!!! I already know that is all a lie. I was there, that is not what happened. My question is, In 1994 in the state of Oregon, what was the required evidence needed for convicting him on these charges???
My husband is surving a 4 yr sentence for a 15 year old girl that accused him of having sex with her. there was no physical evadence. the judge said that her word was enough to convict. this girls parents told me that this is not the first time she has accused a man of this. my husband took a lie detector test and passed. how could this happen?
I have disagree. There are many false accusations that are made. My own daughter, for one, has used the "I've been molested, I've been raped" since she was 13 years old. She realized that it drews LOTS of attentiona and also got her what she wanted.... or thought she did. She has accused 5 different people of this charge including her brothers, a boyfriend, a man that she was at a party with (including pretending to be intoxicated which she tested negative for) and also went before grand jury to testify against another who her friend said raped her. I am a middle school teacher and assure you that there is NOT always truth behind every lie.... Even lies that are this sensitive. I've been on the other side and I agree with whattothink...... the system is unfair when it comes to this. I've also had my unfortunate battle with falserapesociety as soon as I said I was a feminist... (meaning equality to this 50 year old). This is an ugly topic that needs to be discussed, but I'm not sure your description of the process is accurate. That may be so in your state, but the grand jury does not happen before the arrest in NYS....
For anyone that happens to read my message.... please understand that I love my daughter very much. She is almost 21 and it CAN be as simple as telling a story. The problem is, it worked for her the first time, so she tried it over and over. It worked another time as well. I don't think the system is as ideal as the opening statement that you made. If that is your actual experience, then you were fortunate. The sex offender registry does not stop the true pedophiles and rapists from re-offending. There are people on there that do not deserve to be. Thankfully, we have people like the innocence project who is responsible for freeing many of the innocent.
Someone please contact me if you can help....jesus_freak45817@yahoo.com.....i went to the police when i was 15 and they didnt believe me they said my story and his story didnt match so of course they took the adults side i just want justice....how do i go about trying to get him on trial someone please with any advice is helpful.
Call your local CPS (Child protective Service) office or your local domestic abuse shelter. They will help you. The National Coalition against domestic violence is online with online numbers.
my daughter was molested repeatedly by her father, he admitted to it (hand written statement), he was arrested, his family paid his bond, he was arrested again& paid bond & has been free as a bird ,5months have come & gone 2 counties have pushed the case under the rug i dont understand why something cannot be done with his admission to guilt they act like it could be up to 2 years before its decide if its a bill or no bill could you please explain to me why r what else i could do he has taken up with another lady who has children, something is wrong with our laws!!!
I feel so bad for all of you who are going through this, and also for the innocent men who are in prison for being falsely accused. I can, however, say that I hope my father-in-law is arrested as soon as possible and beaten to within an inch of his life in jail. He abused our trust in him, bought my girls expensive gifts, took them on vacations, helped us out of financial difficulties when my husband lost his job, flaunted his wealth, trash-talked us to my girls when they stayed at his house in order to drive in a wedge of mistrust and bitterness to make him look like the good guy - betraying and tricking us, and tearing apart the family just so he could get his kicks with my daughters. They received so many gifts from my in-laws that there was no reason for them to lie about him abusing them, because they're old enough (13 and 11) to understand that a serious accusation like that would mean the gifts and vacations would stop. They're very good kids, and if he truly was the loving grandpa he pretended to be, they would never lie about something like that.
I want to thank everyone who has commented on this post, and I do apologize for not responding to each person personally. Our family has had to refocus our lives away from the tragedy of what happened and become survivors. One thing to keep in mind with child molesters, they are not monsters by nature and often when you place your trust in one your child pays deeply. No child molester claims to do these things, the child is always lying and as anyone who knows children know they tend to lie, so it’s easy to believe the child molester it’s hard to believe the victim.
Prosecutors only need to word of a child to put the case in front of the grand jury; however, that does not convict a person, it only allows for the trial. Children get interviewed repeatedly in these cases, if someone tells you that the child said this happened and it was enough to convict them, they are lying to you. Children are required to go to counselors; they get interviewed by police, the prosecutor, the parents, and eventually the defense attorney. Do some people get wrongfully convicted; of course the system is not perfect. The one thing we lose sight of is these people convince everyone someone lied about them, every person you meet on the sex offenders registry has a story of how they lied or it was consensual or they were wrongfully convicted just because the child said so.
The fact is everyone can become a victim to child molesters, they often spend time with multiple children and never molest them, and they use them children as proof they didn't molest that one. There is no way to know which ones have been wrongfully convicted and which ones are just making you the next victim of their deceit. It’s much harder to believe the victim than it is the accused. In our case the abuser walks free today after spending 5yrs in prison, which by the way he is not on the sex offender’s registry as part of his plea agreement. Two victims unrelated came forward and there were only their words it happened; it was dragged out for years until he took a plea.
If you get told by your child they were touched, the only thing you can do is report it to the police, get the child counseling, be supportive and work together as a family to rebuild you and your child's trust again. Remember this if you thought for two seconds a person was a child molester, you would never allow them around and no child would ever get molested. The problem is child molesters are normal everyday people who are great with children and normally average Joe's, so to speak. No parent does a great job of keeping their children from being molested by someone; we just get lucky a child molester didn't pick our children.
If you feel your wrongfully accused, take charge right away, open your life up to the police and prosecutors, it will frustrate them at first but they will realize your innocent by your openness. Many times we as people we make ourselves look guilty and causing persecution instead of prosecution. If your child wrongfully accuses someone, don't be embarrassed come forward and clear the person's name and continue working with your child and counselor's to get to the route of the issue. It won't take years to find out the truth, but it will take years to rebuild after a child is molested. Child molesters don't realize they kill your children when they force them into adult acts, they take their innocents, they cause your children to one day be at risk of suicide, molestation against another, and low self-worth. So ask yourself the next time you meet another innocent convicted child molester, are they really the victims they play to be, or are you just another victim who they will use to find another child. We meet people all the time and never know their sexual preferences, so it’s natural for us to be fooled when a sex offender befriends us and uses us to get closer to the children we know.
Roger, thank you so much for putting this information out there. It's the most thorough I've found so far on what to expect with the legal process. We've already spoken with the police, and they took about 2 hours getting my girls' statements. They told me the next step is speaking to my father-in-law. I'm not so much concerned about the time it will take to get a conviction, to me the most important thing is that he'll never abuse my kids again, and he's out of our lives for good. Even if he doesn't get a conviction, he will NEVER be allowed around my kids for the rest of their non-adult lives! After that, if they choose to let him in their lives again, it's their choice, but I don't think they will.
He was abusive to my husband and his brothers while they were growing up, but my husband told me his father's molestation of our daughters comes as a total shock to him, because he was never molested by his father as a child. Both of us thought his attention to our kids was kind of his way of trying to make up for the years of abuse. We thought he honestly loved his grandkids and was trying to spoil them with the gifts and vacations. Even so, I was starting to get uncomfortable with the amount of money he was spending on them, and was about to ask him to tone it down a little.
When my husband lost his job last year, my in-laws stepped forward and paid a few of our bills, bought the kids their school clothes and supplies, and took the girls for a lot of weekends and sometimes even weekdays to give us a break. I'm so disgusted that he used our misfortune for his own sick desires. He also talked bad about us to the girls the entire time, telling them I was a useless mom and their dad was stupid and it was his fault he lost his job (totally untrue), and that we were unfit parents because we didn't make enough money to support our family. He'd talked that way about us every time they visited, but my girls kept all this from us because they didn't want to hurt our feelings.
Like you said, he didn't abuse every kid he came into contact with. We have 6 kids, but to my knowledge he only molested the two girls. There was evidence he was grooming our youngest daughter, he almost completely ignored our oldest daughter (who is very close to me, and he somehow knew he wouldn't be able to do anything to her without her telling us), and he only gave our two boys enough gifts and attention to keep up the appearance of being a good grandfather.
As far as I'm concerned, my mother-in-law is an enabler and although she wasn't directly involved in the abuse, I'm not happy with her either. She's always made excuses for the way he treats his family, and will not stand up for herself, her own son when her husband trash-talks him, and allowed her husband to sleep with his granddaughters in his bed while she slept in the other room, keeping it all a secret from us.
I'm sorry I'm typing up so much all at once. It helps to write it down and get it out of my head. We've lined up counseling for our girls, and also for my husband and me so we know best how to deal with it. I feel like my immediate family is getting stronger and we'll pull through it. He can burn in hell for all I care. Even if he somehow convinces a jury of his innocence and never sets foot in jail, one day he'll have to stand before God to be judged of his crimes against innocent children. Justice might be fast or slow, but either way I'm sure he'll pay for what he did to my family.
Kristin,
I thank you for sharing your story, too often people read this and decide that I wrote no one gets wrongfully convicted, which is the farthest thing from the truth. That said,Often the problem with a spouse of the accused they believe they are under attack because you accused their husband or wife. Its hard to imagine that this could happen in your home or a time when your around and you didn't know; however the control child molesters have often allow them to keep the abuse quite even when the parents are in the home. Many parents don't report sexual abuse of their own children because they believe they are to blame, and are embarrassed that this happened. People think parents report this for attention,and blame the children. Its takes extreme courage to go through what your going through and its an emotional roller coaster. The abuser and their attorney will try to expose all your bad points while taking the focus off them, this strategy is merely to get parents to say forget this its not worth it and drop the charges. It's hard to remember at times that this is a ploy and does not mean anything, its their way of getting you to avoid trial. If you speak with your children's counselor I am sure they will let you know testifying often helps your children move forward. This of course is not always the case; however, its can be the closer that is needed. I wish you guys the best as you go through these trying times.
Sincerely,
Roger Thornton
I do want to leave everyone with a final thought, I spent years writing local congressmen and organizations to get the laws changed in KY. They were eventually changed by not by my local representative, I wrote every representative in the state once a week for over a year to get the laws changed. I am sure they just deleted my emails after time went on; however they knew they had to act or deal with me forever. This subject is almost taboo in all forums and people don't want to discuss it, remember it was only 30 years ago that when this happened it didn't get reported and many just quit going to that person's house.
The best things you can do is utilize the programs available in your state, which often will not be easy to find until you speak with the counselor's and advocates who work in this area. Everyone knows it happens but everyone thinks its only monsters that do something like this. Victims think of these guys/girls as monsters; however parents know them as mom, dad, brother, sister, best friends, grandma or grandpa. This is why these crimes are so easy to happen and so hard to believe and prove. This crime is one of the worst for re offenders as well over 40% recommit the crime; however they are often much harder to convict a second time because of they learn how and what got them caught originally.
This is Bull.....When a child tells the school or police she was molested by her Father they do believe them. 13 and younger do not know how to lie and 9/10 times the child is believed. When you have 12 jurors all knowing why they are serving for child molestation already have the guy guilty. You are kidding yourself if you're getting out of this easy. Any child that tells me some adult touched them in a private place I believe and so will anyone else. So pack your bags and don't bend over for the soap.
While your opinion is appreciated the facts that I stated are of events that actually happened in sexual abuse cases in Kentucky. I believe you have required to report confused with they believe. If a child reports any kind of abuse to a school official it has to be reported and investigated. Jury's don't automatically convict on a child's testimony, many of these cases get dropped and found not guilty due to lack of evidence. Many people get confused by news media reports, they never report what a victim has to go through or how long the case actually took. We all are victims of media reports making it seem like things are easy and just. I pray you never have to experience this from a victims standpoint and actually witness the harsh truth of what children go through after they come forward. The system is not perfect so there will always be exceptions to the rule but read what people have written and you will see this type of experience is not rare or limited to Kentucky.
I am new to this web page but have read all of your comments. If someone has already served time in prison for child molesting and is now accused again about 15 years later, is there an immediate arrest?
It depends on the evidence against the person and the local laws. If its a case of the victims word against the accused, then in most cases no. The police will have no choice but to gather evidence and turn it over to the prosecutor down the road. If their is concrete evidence showing that this person did this then an arrest can be made sooner, however, I do not know the normal procedure where you are located. In places like Kentucky and Michigan no arrest would be made until after an interview of the victim and the accused, an exam by the hospital, social worker being involved and the case being brought in front of a grand jury.
I am sooo confused! My story is that I met an amazing man a few months ago and fell in love. He has a 14 yr old daughter and I have a 15 year old son who started dating. (A little crazy I know!) So we have learned this beautiful young girl does a lot of stuff to get attentionalmost on a dailey basis. She makes up stories and gets my son all worked up and she loves it! Well today she told my son my boyfriend/ her father has been molesting her. As soon as I found out I called her and she told me the same thing. After a few hours of freaking out not know if she is doing this for attention or if its true I decided to talk to her in person. I gave her the chance to tell the truth if in fact she was lying and explained life was about to change if she was telling the truth and I would be there for her. We then called the aunt to tell her what's happened and I took her to her aunts. We talked for awhile and when I went outside for a few mins the aunt called my boyfriend. He then showed up freaking out so I called the cops and he was arrested and his daughter was then taken to protective custody. Her allagations were that he has been having sex with her since she was 13 tell a few days after christmas. A little over a year. Well that was the final story. The dates changed a few times but the fact that he molested her never changed. I believe her about 90% and the other 10% I am not sure. I just don't know if I helped ruined a mans life that I love. I know I am done with him regardless because I will never know forsure and can't have a man like that in my life. I am just scared the system here in stockton ca will just put him in jail regardless he did it or not. What should I do?
Melissa,
Let me start by saying I know how draining your day has been and I wish you and your family the best.
Acting out by teenagers is common even when they haven't been molested; however, its even worse when they have. The best thing you could do is exactly what you did. Let the professionals deal with this situation. I would not be surprised if many details get added in the days to come. There are even cases when the child didn't realize their lives would be changed so much that they recant their own story even when its the truth. Finding out the truth is not an easy task because a child molester would never admit to it and a child with a history of lying are usually good enough to maintain a story for a short period, which is why professionals have to make the determination.
I know this doesn't help in moving forward, however, your son's girlfriend will have details that only her and her father will know and details that may help to prove or disprove this case. The only thing you can do is be patient and wait for the truth to come out, easier said than done, I know. This site maybe able to give you an idea of what you may expect if you still have dealing's with your son's girlfriend. http://parentsupportforchildsexualabuse.com/parent
I hope this helps.
Sincerely,
Roger Thornton
I will give you more details regarding my previous question about a repeat offender. In 1982 this person was arrested for child molesting in the state of Florida. He served time in prison for this and also was sent to a mental facility for counseling. He had repeatingly raped a 5 year old relative. I few years after being released it was suspected that he was sexually abusing his own daughter and possible his son who were under the age of 10. He was never arrested for this but I believe there are some court records to back this up. He moved from state to state and is now living in the state of Ohio. He just recently sexually abused a 7 year old. This has been reported to the local police department and the father of the 7 year old is pressing charges. There is also another family member who is now grown up who has admitted to being abused by him but does not want to press charges. This man is still walking around free!! Since he has already been charged for prior offense and servered time in prison for the 1982 incident, why isn't an immediate arrest possible? Will this all be considered if and when he is arrested for this current complaint? I'm sure there could be others out there that may have been molested by this sick man yet he is still free.
I lied... I destroyed my fathers life and he went to prison. I made up the stroy when I was 9ish after hearing someone else tell a like story and during my parents bitter divorce. Now my father has to register for the rest of his life. Once I told the lie because of all of the attention on it at the time I was to afraid to tell the truth.. I didn't know how to get out of the lie. As an adult I finally DID tell the truth but obviously lives were destroyed! Nothing I can do to ever fix it.. just pray to the lord above that I am forgiven.
im dating a man who has done time in jail for child molesting charges but he says hes been framed by a guy that hes mother use to date n says hes the child molester n framed him im siting here thinkn is he jus liaring or is he telling the truth but wat i cant get my head round is how did he get charged if hes not guilty ???? help me plez dnt they do dna to determine if ur guilty or not they cant jus charge u n lock u up if they dnt ave evidence can they
It bothers me how hard it is to convict a child molester.
I know of one case where a father confessed to molesting his own daughter who was under the age of 2 at the time. The charges were dropped because they didn't feel they had enough evidence to prosecute him. (no physical evidence, just his confession)
I'm now worried about another case involving siblings. One child is speaking about the abuse but the younger child will only speak to the other sibling about it and refuses to speak to any adults involved in the case. The molester has also worked really hard to befriend people and get into a high level position at his church. Once he's actually charged, I suspect we'll hear a lot of people saying they can't imagine someone like him harming children. Especially since he has 5 children of his own. It makes me sick.
I was sexually abused by my own grandfather and to this day my own family accuses me of making the whole story up. In the 30 years since it happened my story hasn't changed once and they still refuse to believe. I feel bad for anyone wrongly accused but I feel even worse for the children who were truly harmed and never receive justice.
I believe any child that has said they have been touched in a wrong place our knows far to much about sexual actions,the have been exposed to horrid things they shouldn't have.And to those family's out there that don't even consider your baby has been molested,even tho she told horrid specific details with out being asked 20 questions!you are just as guilty,and should never have children!!!!
My question is.. Last year I was accused of molesting my girlfrend child. We have been together for almost 2.5 years and for the last year been fighting them. Its all been here say with nothing to support i but a statment from our 3 year old. We ran out of money and stress levels were high and agreed on a plea of probation with no sex offender registration. mind you were not married but the put on the probation that I could see my youngest daughter but could see my oldest and my girlfriend. Weve been wondering if we got married could it help keep our family together, we were gonna get married anyways but it got postponed. I really love my family and have fought in and out of jail to keep them. I cant live with them yet I pay their bills and mine and hold a job. They said they caught me seeing my little girl and so we were wondering if getting married could keep them from seperateing us for good cause i know thats what there after. Its been a long hard road and I love my babys so much and I just want to have my family back and live a normal life. can someone please help to if getting married would help or not. Thank you
Do apolgize for my typing. Tired and stressed to the max. What I was saying is while on probation I cant see my youngest daughter but I can see my oldest and my girlfriend.
my granddaughter was sexually abuse for two years and everytime would her mom and was never believed by her mom. till one day my gdd told her best friend and her bf told her mom and something was done. but the monster is still a free man and will have court till 04/2012.
I have a 3 almost 4 year old step daughter (who I consider to be my own) who has been being molested by her biological father for two years now. We have had multiple forensic interviews done and they end up with "not enough evidence". Not to mention we live in a small town in Idaho......as you can imagine we have awesome cops lol. Does anyone have any idea on any office state or federal wise that my wife and I can contact for help, because we are going no where at all! This needs to end! This beautiful little girl does not need to continue dealing with this nor does our family!!!!!
PLEASE HELP!
Biggin,
I am not sure on the laws in your current state; however, in most cases where a judgement has already been put into place special permission is required to change the conditions. That said if you were to get married it is possible that your probation officer would allow you to live with your wife, but I would speak with an attorney in your state first. Many will give a free consultation, especially considering that things have changed in the actual case.
I feel for your situation greatly, when we were in a similar situation we had to keep pushing the issue. I did this by writing to state police heads in the state along with the prosecutors. I emailed them every two weeks with updates in the case, even if it was just changes in my daughters nightmares and things like that. Its so hard to get a conviction once the person accused denies everything and the cops don't have much to go on. Your family is our prays.
Sincerely,
Roger Thornton
I have been dating a girl for 2.5 years and just Sunday her 6 year old daughter told my gf and I that my nephew made her touch him several times. We immediately said good job for telling us. We proceded to ask when and where this happened. She said it happened several times while she, her 10 year old brother, and my 18 year old nephew played hide and seek about 6 month ago. We asked where and the response was out on their porch in broad daylight, we asked where any other places it happened and the response was she didnt remember, but eventually she giggled and said it happened in the tool shed. She was very detailed about how it all happened but I wonder about how she giggled as if making it up. I hope my nephew would never do this but only he knows for sure. I have doubts also about the little girl's godparents; they invite her over every other weekend, but never allow her brother to come over. They spoil her rotten and claim how they can't have children and would love to adopt the girl if we ever gave her up? Something doesn't seem right with that situation. I wonder about everyone because of the previous statement, because the girl's brother was molested by a little girl if he didnt do something. I am so confused. The daycare provider said she didnt think the cops should be involved but was obligated to call them anyways. The godparents said the whole thing should be dropped, which sounds strange. My girlfriend says if my nephew goes to counseling that she wouldnt press charges, which seems strange too. Finally, when I told my gf baout a man i worked with who was falsely accused, the gf sounded defensive and said that she or her mom would never make their daughter say anything like that, I didnt even insinuate that, I just made a statement and she got defensive. So thats all, I want to accuse everyone, and dont want to accuse anyone. I am just stressed, confused, and needed to write about it and get it off my chest. Oh, Now my sister doesnt want anything to do with me because I am with a woman who falsely accused her child, so I am torn between my woman and my family.
Thank you for letting me vent and any or all comments welcome.
when my son was 14 an my nephew was 10 they looked and each others privates an touched them my nephew is slightly autistic my son is adhd with seizures and short term memory. my nephew brought it up recently and now the da or the investigators wont tell us nothing. the doctor proved (from my sister) that nothing sexual had been done. my son doesnt denie that it happened. so what do we need to do. hes not a molester. how do we help him he is now 18.
Okay I saw this topic and had to post. My family is going through a very stressful situation right now but hopefully it turns out well. So several months ago a family member of mine who is around 7 or 8 made an accusation that my brother molested her. Now this little girl does have some abbandonment issues but I'm not sure if the court will recognize that. Anyway my brother is 14 and before she told someone he touched her she came up with a few lies like "he was using my moms towel or he said a bad word" might I mention se was laughing when she said it. Okay so my mother calld the police not HER mom even though she knew. So he did go to juvinille for a week and now he's on probation. No one believes he did it because we know how the little girl is. We think maybe someone did do it but it wasn't my brother... I'm just stressed I need encouragement. In our situation what do you think are the possible out comes? Oh I also should mention that my brother is a trouble maker but more so with violence and drugs not with touching young kids... will that also affect this case?
So, I have calmed down about my situation some, and all I can say is that the truth will be shown eventually, we just have to have faith and patient. I will pray for myself and others who have posted on this site and hopefully we will all get the answers we need.
Right now my husband is under investagation for something that never happen.. There is no evidence .. How long does an investagation usually takes and when would we know something... He's been accuse by some girl that he show her a pic.. We don't know even know thus person .. And another girl said that he made her get undress when she was I guess 4 or 5 now she is 12.. Last year I help a family out took them in because they were homeless .mom have 9 kids total but she were with 2 the girl 16 and the boy 14 .. Anyhow my husband been working in the oilfield fior the past 13 yrs.. I haven't seen him in months he came home on days off .. He was shock to know that I was helping other ppl .. To make a long story short I went to pick up some drinks from hastings . While I was on the phone with him .. There were 5 kids in my house .. My 2. They friend and the ppl I took in brother n sister.. The girl was having a panic attac n was crying my husband told me right away.. I click over n call her mom twice but no ans anyhow there is all these kids standing there I got to the house n ask the girl if she need me to take to the hospital ? She said no that she's feeling better I told her that I call her mom but no ans.. I ask her if she call her dad or step mom her ans was no .. Soon as my husband left the house the girl got a hold of my son phone went to the back yard, I follow her to make sure she was ok.. She saw me and ran to the front yard n call her mom boyfriend .. When the mom boyfriend got there I was shock .. When he told me Its my husband.. I got speechless.. Well he took her to the hospital.. To me if they did a rape test or any kind if test my husband would get arrested right away.. Her mom call me 2 hours later yelling at me saying my husband try to do nasty with her daughter.. Later that night the dad n step mom came to my place to get the rest of his kids stuff out .. 2 days later CPS came to my house took my kids away for the weekend kick my husband out from his own house and told him that a detective will call him by the next week .. Took my kids down question my
kids .. Since then I haven't heard anything from CPS.. Well since then it's been 5 months now.. Last week I got a call from the detective ... I went to my lawyer immediately but still haven't heard anything as yet.. The detective ask my lawyer if they need my husband to take a ploygraph test if he is willing to rake it.. I ask my lawyer what happens if he fails or pass the test ... If fails that's not good .. But if pass more than likely the case will get decline.. I know my husband is innocent.. He us always gone n when he is home we spent family time with our
kids .. Can someone plz give me some kinda advice
Of course every state is different in this process,that said normally it can take about a year to a year and a half. This of course depends on what everyone is telling the prosecutor and if he/she feels they have a case. As far as a lie detector goes, if your husband takes it and passes, often times the cases are dropped;however, failing it would make them look harder but they can't use it against him in the court either way. I know it often seems like we have clear proof a person can be innocent but I have seen a case where the molestation took place in the next room with no one in the house knowing. That being said, if there are a lot of witnesses, some should be able to back up your husband's story and make it very difficult to convict him. I hope and pray the truth comes out for you soon, so your family can start to heal.
Sincerely,
Roger Thornton
Your Comment was so interesting And informative
ok people help me please. i have been with this guy for almost 10 years. my daughter who is disabled she is 12 but mentally 6 she is in special ed beasically 1st grade level. she was talking with a friend and her teacher overheard her the teacher went to counsoler the cops came. next thing i know 2 detectives show up at my home we were both here. they called me outside said there was accusations of abuse would not say what kind. they informed me cps had to be contacted and my fiance had to leave home. so it all went down we continued to talk for a week. exactly a week later we went in for the cap interview for u guys who dont know cap is child abuse prevention or something like that any ways they interviewed both my children and less than a hour later they arrested him. my problem is hes being charged with my disabled child but according to my other daughter it happened to her too, unfortunately now im being told they cannot charge him for her because it happened in a different state she is still going through the cap program and yesterday i was informed shes showing mild ptds which is messed up y do u have to be in that state its not fair because shes feeling shes not getting justice for her
Well my 10 year old son was molested by his father who passed away while there was still an open investigation going so no justice was served in that. Than he was molested by his grandfather shortly after his dad passed and no justice served on that case either because of lack of evidence. It is very sad how hard it is to prove these kinds of cases without good hard facts there is no justice...
I need some answers. my granddaughter was molested by by brother at the age of 10 she is know 12. she fist talk to the school and told them what had happen. want the police want to school it was a lady office that she talk to after she talk with them they told use that she said he touch her and was getting ready to put it in her want she scream so she said he stop. per the office we were told at that time he did not panatared her.if took some time for the detective to contract my daughter she has to talk her to police station so she could talk with them now after the meeting with detective my daughter said she told them that he did put it in her twice so i not sure if what she said is true or what. woulden the detectives have the police report from the day they want to the school and woulden it say what she told them the first time. I know what he did is wrong but I want to make sure what she is saying is true. I did talk to detective said they need to get evidance to proof what happen in order for them to present their case to the DA cause at this time they only have she said he said. is this enought evidance to convict him.
how long has it been since he was molested. for my granddaughter it was back in 2010 and per the detective they said as far as what they only have is she said and he said they have not yet talk to him but per the detective said want they do they will try to get him to say he did do it but I do not thing he will say he did so if not than she said he walks what kind of evidance would they need since it has happen two years ago. need some answer do you guys thing they will convict him with out evidance?
l am a a mum of 2 beautiful boys 1 who is 10 and the other who is 6.my brother in law has been dating a girl for 8 years now and she has a son whom is 12, from a prier relationship.We have bought this child into our lives as part of the family.He sexually abused both my boys and because he is a child he has not been charged and is under going intense councelling and if he complies with this, his next court case is in september he will be a free boy so he can go and hurt someone elses children.l have my hands tied and this is eating at me like cancer.l want to get him out of this small country town that we live in and make the parents aware that there child is sitting in the same class room as a sexual prediter,but because he is under age no charges can be held on him and l cant make this public.Were do l stand leagaly,what can l do
my son was molested and sodomized in wisconsin by a 15 yearold. This kid has offended before. My son is only 5, seem like he is getting back on paper and counseling!! What kind of justice is that this kid is perverted!! and going around other kids what can be done??? already contacted police and my son was interviewd. Me and his dad caught him in the act the last time he touched my 5 yearold.
thr ri laws suck i know someone that was sent to jail and had his life ruined for a kid that acussed him of sexally abuse and the accused someone else of the same thing not even a month later and my friend got 4yrs and probations for nothing
Sorry to say this, Roger, but your typos and incorrect grammar diminish your credibility. You should have someone proofread your posts before publishing.
My boyfriend has been accused of raping a 13 yr old girl, his case has not yet gone to trial but he has been ordered not to have contact with any minors. I have a 1 yr old daughter, he has not had any contact with her since his case began. Can my daughter be taken from me or can he be arrested for having contact with me only and not her? I am helping him get to and from work a lot but my daughter is always left with a babysitter when I see him. I don't want to risk losing my daughter but I am very much in love with my boyfriend and I believe he has been wrongly accused. I can't let him face this alone but I want to protect my daughter as well.
After reading all of this it saddens me of how many children are being molested. I am going through a similar case with my little one. We have been interviewed by the investigators, cops, and have been workng with counselors and victims advocate. My little one has been going through all of this for a year now. My child was once totally potty trained and slept alone. Still to this day having accidents in pants and having horrible nightmares. My childs attitude changed, went from being calm and quiet to being loud, rambunkious, and not wanting windows in bedroom. This is hard for me cause I knew how the child was before he said anything to the authorities and now its like I dont even know my own child anymore. I know that there is still lots of pain and now its turned into being ashamed. I try to encourage that it wasnt their fault, and that all we have to do is keep complying with everything and await the trial date. The only issue is the perputrator has caused a lot of people to be against our family. The hardest thing is the guy that did it was one of my best friends for like 5 years. He was homeless so my sugginificant other and I let him stay there. We never thought that he would commit this crime a second time. Once as a juvenile and this time. The guy never told us exactly what he got in trouble for. So we was unclear as to why he had spend the years in juvenile detention. For a long time I never notice but not only did he mess with my child he also raped me of my kindness, loyalty, and my friendship. I probably will never be able to trust another man around my child alone. I walk in fear daily, afraid I may see some one he knows and they are against us. Blaming me for being the one who told. I said nothing it was my child who told the investigators not me. My child had every right to tell and I am proud of them for doing so. I havent revealed the sex of my child nor their age due to the fact that this is still going on and for the fear that I may open up another can of worms that I just cant deal with right now. So for the protection of my children and myself I just wanted to get this off my chest, because I have seen that everyone else here is struggling with something similar to my situation. It is not a fun road to be on nor is it easy. I pray to God every day for strength, I pray the armor of protection over my child every night. I know that justice will be served and I also know that it takes time. My child has not changed the story at all and it has been almost a year now. Children are forgiving and hopefully this memory my child has now will deminish as they get older. I leave it in God's hands and I know that he will help us through. Thank you Roger for starting this site, it is really good to know that I am not the only person going through this situation. Now I have some people here I can talk to and also may be able to help. God bless you all and remember have faith.
l feel sorry for any one who has been wrongly acused of such a thing l did know someone who was acused of with his daughter it was not tru he took his life and we no that it was a lie the daughter admitted this,but l had to sit and listen to my children tell me that this scumbag boy told them he was the boss and mad them suck his penis and do his way with them l cant explain how heart wrenching this was for me words can not explain this boy confessed and still the court system has let my children down. This boy gets to live normally at school and has no restictions on anything he can and will do it again.The school if anyone should have a duty of care to tell parents that there child is sitting in a class with a child child molester we think our children are safe at school because it is the schools DUTY OF CARE to look after our children.Little Jonny can sew if he brakes his arm or someone calls him a poof what my case and millions more like me its just not that important .Make the scum do home tutoring or have a special school for the dogs.How many of these kids are in our comunitys our children arent safe what is this world coming to god help my kids kids.This boy was bought up by a single mum but her best friend is a male gay now this boy stays with him and she trusts them yeh opening a contravertial toppic but gay marriage and exceptance should not be allowed this child is bought up thinking its ok to be gay so l will do it to others my boys are scared for this so screw all you gay Bastards as well again l ask what is this world going to be like for my boys when there 25 and for my grand children Do not trust anyone 100% any gut fealing even the smallest of concern go with it no matter WHO it is
My fiance was arrested a week ago due to my daughter stating he raped her. Strong words. There were rape kits done and everything came up Negative. However he is still in jail. I don;'t know about the California law,. but does there have to be Physical evidence to send him to prison, or can they just take the word of a child? She hasnt even lived with us when this was supposidly happened, she was in Foster care due to CPS taking our child from a spanking. He is just being held in a county jail at this time on accusation charges... confused and need an answer on this, not sure where to turn.
Charges: 3 misdemeanors
$260.10 Endangering welfare of child
$130.60 Sexual abuse 2nd
$130.52 forcible touching
Case hinges on this:
My son 21 yrs;
Goes on FB connects with a girl who on FB is 17 in her profile;
My son invites girl to my home;
She comes over driven and dropped off by her brother or someone;
I meet her – she looks at least 17/18;
I ask her how old are you in front of my 23 yr old daughter-she replies 17;
I ask about school – she says she graduated;
She told this to me, my son and my daughter and my step brother – we all believed her and she looks 17/18 ish;
OK so far so good;
She stays over ONE night and nothing happens between her and my son apparently and I have to believe that for now;
She leaves and that’s it;
A few days ago I get a call from her father;
He asks me how old my son is;
I tell him 21;
He asks how old do you think my daughter is?
I said she told us all 17 why is there a problem?
He says maybe because she is actually 12!
I shrieked loud and apologized to him saying WHAT !!!
NO WAY!!
I tell him what she tells us about being 17 etc and later find out the Police know she lied and know she also had 17 on her FB profile and also said she looks older than she is;
We assure the father that she will not be coming here anymore or my son would have contact with her and then my son apologies to the father and we thought that was it;
Next day – 3.29.12 the Police come to our house and say they have to charge my son;
Now they then talk about a photo from a cell phone the father found on his daughters phone of my son and his daughter;
Apparently it is a FULLY CLOTHED photo with my son wrapping his arms around the girl from the back looking into the camera and his hand is on her breast outside her clothes;
So the police then say that’s against the law etc etc;
They tell us they know she lied and they are sorry;
IF my son goes down and makes a statement they will only charge him with misdemeanors and NOT D felony which they could charge him with;
He can go freely, no cuffs, in the car and make the statement and that would be it;
So we agreed and off he went to the station;
He makes the statement, comes back with three misdemeanor charges as above;
UNFORTUNATELY because my son is bi polar(not certified yet medically but we know he is) made the statement and mentioned that he has his hand on her breast on the outside of her clothes in this photo;
Thinking that he needs to tell the truth or what he is cohered into admitting from the police putting these words into his mouth to make the statement;
So now we have these charges ALL because of ONE picture and because this girl lied;
Now I find More evidence and my son fails to tell the police at the time he was making his statement that SHE sent him some nude and inappropriate photos to his cell phone from her home;
I then say WHY did you not say anything?
He said he was scared and DELETED the nude ones but kept three or four – I have them and they are half naked of her sent to his cell phone from hers;
I thought that now I have evidence against her as sending inappropriate photos is sextexting or against the law and I could call the police Monday and make a complaint against her?
BUT people are telling me NOT to show the police and contact a lawyer;
My theory is that if the father is presented with my complaint then he would drop these ludicrous charges against my son;
I have the fathers number and have tried calling him to speak to him but he does not call back or answer and if he knew the implications and about these other photos he would maybe understand and work this out and drop the charges;
I am in panic as my son is a green card holder and the misdemeanor charges of Sexual Abuse and forcible touching are deportable offenses under federal immigration law – under their law they are AF aggravated felonies so under any circumstance or outcome I cannot have a guilty plea to these – endangering a child is ok as this is not deportable – any plea bargain would have to be either drop those two and admit to the endangering or reduce or change those two to non deportable misdemeanors like unlawful imprisonment in 2nd 135.05 etc;
ALTHOUGH we do not want to admit to anything as we fell he is not guilty to all charges, we know the system and know that they will win whatever happens;
So our goal here is to avoid deportable offenses primarily;
Second is to try to keep the age of the girl out of the record of conviction and receive no more that 364 days in jail for any offense or plea bargain;
My son has priors – not of this nature though;
My Fiance and I just found out that back in July 2011 his daughter who is 14, told her Mother and Grandmother that her Grandfather had been molesting her for as long as she could remember. The Grandparents moved to Costa Rica about 5 years ago but they were out for their daughters wedding, my fiances ex. The Grandmother and Mother told the Grandfather to go back to Costa Rica instead of calling the police. We have now spoken with child services in two counties, the police and the rape crisis center. They have all interviewed the victim but have not bothered talking to the Mother or the Grandmother who are refusing to tell us where the Grandfather lives. The new Stepfather is as creepy as they come, he has already made my Fiances daughter feel uncomfortable that she has moved in with us, which is 200 miles from where she goes to school. She wakes up early every morning and her father takes her to school, its such a mess. The kicker in all this is that the Grandfather was an "elder" in the Jehovah's Witness religion and is being protected by them. In fact the Mother and Grandmother are protecting him because of this religion and has told my fiances daughter they have lost her to the world, that if she were to tell anyone they would what she did.
The Jehovah's Witnesses Organization is well known for harboring and protecting pedophiles within their clergy class as well as those of the rank and file. While they claim to have strict and rigid rules for disciplining those accused of pedophilia, the facts show that they DO NOT REPORT to the athorities. This is to protect the Organization from negative publicity which would counteract the preaching work they do going from door to door looking for new recruits and their children. The fact that the Grandfather mentioned above is an "Elder" is not surprising at all. He would know the policies within the church regarding pedophilia and would feel quite safe raping his Grandaughter know there would be little if no consequences. As for other family members knowing of the abuse and not reporting and for placing shame or guilt upon the victim daughter? Shame on them and they will certainly get what is coming to them. Press forward with law officials, be aggressive and persistent, contact news media and write public letters and notices exposing the Granfather, the Jehovah's Witnesses Religion and any Family or Friends that have protected this vile monster who preyed upon his own Grandaughter. Silentlambs.org is an excellent resource websight for exactly what has been described above. Prosecution and conviction is just a small piece of this battle. There is a plethora of avenues to take to expose the Grandfather and his sick religion.
My husband was arrested on Thursday at 8.30 in the morning on the way to work we live in uk. Apparently the police officer said there have been a few sexual assaults that have happened around this area and that his hair colour is the same ...... He could come voluntarily or be arrested he said he would go on his own accord as he has nothing to hide. About 2 hours later there is a search warrant outside my house and they tore my whole house apart took clothes as evidence and said they were looking for earrings.
Apparently they took photos of him and have sent his clothes off for d n a. And we deeply question he is now on bail till 26th April and has to surrender to the police station then.
I am finding this hard to come to terms with as I don't believe they would base this on just hair colour. Either someone has set him up, it's mistaken identity, the police are trying to rule people out, or he has done it. I am hoping it is not the latter.
We have been together 4 yours got married in September and have a 10 month old daughter. I will admit I haven't had sex since having my daughter but he has been fine with that and we get on really well. I can't sleep every knock on the door my heart goes funny. I am making myself ill and I don't know what to do. I feel so alone and I am doubting my husband and I feel bad.
No offence to him but he hasn't got the mental abillity to lie very well.
He is a type of person who refused strippers at his stag do hates woman and children wearing short shorts even tells kids to cover up as they will attract the wrong attention. He hates how woman always have to get naked in films he thinks it is pointless.
My head is completely everywhere I won't be able to afford our house on my own and will have to sort a hostel out for my daughter and men I dont want to be a single parent I hate doubting my partner of four years. Any advice will be appreciated.
thank you for this post. Last May my 4 year old daughter told me that her step-father was touching her and having her perform oral sex on him. I asked her when he did this and her response to me was accurate and the only time that he would of had this opportunity.
I immediately called the police, CPS was involved, he was removed from the home and I got a restraining order, she was examined and there was evidnece of redness, soreness, and a swollen perianal area. My daughter saw a councelor for several months and when they felt there was nothing else they could do for her based on her age they graduated her knowing her red flags/green flag touches and such.
A prosecuting attorney met with me and they said that the good news was they were meeting with me because they had PROOF of crime and there would be further investigation on the case. And then one day they called and said that althought they had PROOF of crime they were unable to prosecute because they felt my daughter was too young and would not fair well in a jury trial.
Now I find myself in divorce court trying to protect my other daughter from him. I can protect my 4 year old from him since she is not his biological child. It is so frustrating to me that I have to fight this hard to protect her. I am not saying that he should never see her, I just want there to be professional supervised visitations until she is of age where when and if he molests her too, she will be listened too and he will be convicted.
The hardest thing about this is that the only people in the world who know the absolute truth are my daughter and my ex-husband. I know that as a mother I did the right thing, I listened to her and I believe her. HOWEVER, I sometimes feel that I didn't do the right thing.
Basically what the prosecuting attorney told me was that I didn't have enough physical proof. Basically I should have waited to report this crime until I did have torn membranes, a pregnancy, or blood. What I was told was that as long as a pedophile picks the right child of the right age and just "touches and rubs and doesn't leave behind good proof" that they will always get away with the crime. It is disturbing how many people have probably gotten away with this crime. And it is more disturbing that now this S.O.B knows he can get away with it.
What is also disturbing are how many people have lied about being molested or that their child was molested. Time and time again I have been accussed of lying to get what I want out of the divorce. He has nothing... NOTHING no money, no home, nothing so what am I to gain out of lying about this? I was told by my attorney that I am the FIRST female client he has ever taken on because he has seen so many women lie or have their child lie about this to gain things in a divorce, but he believes me especially since I have absolutely nothing to gain. Trust me having every other weekend off from one of my kids would be an awesome break! This is horrible and now here I am fighting to protect my other daughter because so many people have lied about this heinous crime... shame on them.
I wish there was a change in the law. There was proof but my daughter was too young to testify. She disclosed to me, my parents, a nurse, and her counselor but only told me more details (I had taken her to the police department when she told me and was talking up a storm, they turned me away and had me call 911... 6 hours later a Sheriff came to take my statement, by then she was done talking... thanks a lot police station I was at friggin 911!) I just think there should be some type of punishment for what he has done especially, especially since I was told that there was PROOF she disclosed she was and still is consistent, she is still scared of him and still talks about it. I just want him to be punished I want him to go to jail, he didn't even get a slap on the hand just a -good for you buddy you got away with a major crime and can probably get away with it again!
This consumes me. I have written legislators and the local news channels and problem solvers and it is shameful that no one seems to really care about the safety of our children. Many women and men have come forward and told me their stories about how they were molested, or their child was and every time the bad guy got away with it. Clearly this is an issue and clearly something needs to be done. I think if we continue to advocate for our children and all victims someday things will have to change. Good luck to everyone, I know I won't give up on protecting my daughter and hope that someday none of us will have to fight so hard to protect our children.
my 21 yr son has been arrested for lewd and licvios...This 13 yr old girl has said he was playing with himself will she was walking down the street..He was not even questioned,just a warrant for his arrest and a $40,000 bail..He was nowhere even close to where she said it happened..He was at his house with his girlfriend and 2 of his buddies.
This has already made the papers and is costing us 1000s of dollars..
Point is you get accused just by a childs word..
i got this story when the parents put words into the childs mouth to say in court,all they wanted was to stay at our house for free after reporting my dad so they made such a framed case hoping for us to make a trade in with them in which they would withdraw the issue saying he is not the one who did it the one who did went overseas . Such case are happening nowadays.people are making money on such issues while at the expense of others anyone help me with this case
so this it my dad is nw in prison they bribed the magistrate so we are appealing for the issue to go to high court my email is masedeweshadreck@gmail.com anyone help me
Hi my friend has been with a girl a little before she was 16. They had sex like 3 days before she turned 16. Today she is 17 and he is 31 they are so happy together but the law found out that they have been together. They are not alowed to talk to each other till she turns 18 and the investgation is over. She will be 18 in less than 5 months. How can I help them so that they can be together again.
i was abused my entire childhood, since i could remember, my mother and father both beat me then from the time i was 6 until i was 12, by my mothers husband, my step-father, molested me, his son started in on me too when i was 10 - i am 36 now.
i called 911 friday night because of a domestic violence situation i was witness to...the couple lied and the police did nothing to protect her, i snapped, blacked-out, and evidently gave them a reason to charge me with 2 counts of assault...my step-father was a cop and used to cuff me when he would do horrible things to me...
so i tried to help someone, had a black-out breakdown, and now i have found that i am thinking about all that he put me thru... i want him to not be able to do this to anyone else...it has ruined my life more than i ever even realized...
i can't have kids because of his actions, i have serious trust issues and super high anxiety...
Do you think I can charge him? It happened in Maine,i now live in WA and i found him on facebook today, he is in AZ...his profile pic shows him with a child on his lap, it made me vomit...
Hi I have a question. All the information I find is on the child molester themselves. My question is can a mother that had prior knowledge that the man she was moving into her home was a child molester. I would like to know can she be charged or held responable for any of this that happen to her children. The abuse went on for three years and one week after the child molester was arrested , she had a new boyfriend and it has only be four months and she is living with this new man.
I sure hope you are not an attorney...
With the mentality of 'there is usually truth', in what a child states, is why false accusations are so hard to defend. Presumption of innocents means 'prove guilt', don't assume truth.
I am going thru this right now but i am not a victims parent i am the accusies wife. We are at 7 monthes now my husband is still in jail and i am so confused my head wants to explode. The child that is accusing my husband their family has left the state and now wont return any phone calls. I live in a county with over 500 convicted sex offenders and the population is 32,000. I am teriffed what may happen to my family i have two boys who want to know when their dad is coming
home.
Hello, It's scary that the ones who didn't do anything, are seen as deceiving little perverts. I am going through a false accusation right now. My brother is a MAJOR drug addict. Cocaine, bath salts, spice, ecstasy etc. Brags about doing all those too, but he is WAY stronger than me. Physically. He has put me in the hospital, tries to fight me all the time, and picks on me. Well one night he pours hot butter outside of my bedroom door, nearly breaking my friends neck, and laughs. Then I yell at him to clean it up, he throws crap at me. A few minutes later I come out and he's written "Logan rapes boys" "A molester sleeps here" "Arrest the pervert!" "Logan's a psychotic pervert!" all over the walls ruining childhood photos etc. Well I tell him he has problems and he attacks me putting me in the hospital. He claims he was going to kill me. I couldn't fight back obviously. He also breaks stuff in the house, throws coco powder on the floor laughs when he forces my grandmother to clean up his messes. He's provoked my other brother into a fight where John then claimed Austin attacked him, and got him charged with assault on a minor. He's pulled knifes on me several times, threatened to kill me and other, claims everyone in my family is on drugs, smuggles drugs, are perverts and try to kill him. Idk what he's telling CPS, but he's been telling my grandma tons of crap over the phone and everything.
Now he's saying I've threatened him with knifes, and a sword...threatened to kill him if he had a girl friend, raped him in every room in the house and tried to murder him. Which he's already proven that he can over power me, and he DOES NOT back down from a knife, he fought someone who had a machete and wasn't afraid. Anyway he's exposed himself to my little cousins, jerks off like 3 times a day, claims he's done every sex position all because of me. Claims because he was raped, he had to have more of that stuff right there. I would call bull crap on that claim from anyone anyway.
I'm trying to show that he IS NOT a innocent victim. I'm the one who's pressing charges against him for assault, property damage etc, I found all his drugs and gave them to the police and ratted him out for years to my grandmother. He's also changed his story 3 times and I DO have witnesses to that, and many other outrageous claims. Like how he claims I recorded us having sex, but he burned the memory card. I told him if such a thing existed he should of kept it at least. :/
With all of this, CPS won't hear anything from my grandmother, or anyone. They won't speak to anyone and he can clearly show he's making it worse every time he tells it, so bad now in fact that no sane person should believe him. But CPS takes it seriously, every word. Now I'm screwed and too poor to defend myself against a little punk who's out for revenge. When Me, my other brother AND my friend told him it's wrong to claim false things against others he said,
"So, I don't give a fuck, I'll call silent whiteness." Yea...oh one last thing to top it all off, he threatened me that if he got arrested, or told on, or if I fight back if he wants to kill me, he'll tell CPS I "Molested" him. Right...
So If I seem like a deceiving sex monster after all that, I have no hope for humanity. It's become dumber than I though...he doesn't need protection, we were ALL afraid for our lives when he was in the house. But now I'm seen as the monster.
My WIFI is down so I go on a very weak signal across the street. Easiest way to contact me will be at,
Lcrandell0@gmail.com
I won't be checking on this page, sorry. :/ Just message me...
I posted on here sometime ago and lost the site but just found it again thankfully but I have to make a response to Pedoslayer. What you said is not true what so ever. My family is part of the religion you mentioned and when our family incident occured they told us that if we hadn't went through with reporting it they would have to. I'm not sure where you are getting your information from but I can tell you first hand it is absolutely false! And it is very rude to bash other peples religion because reguardless of what we believe we are all still people. And I can sit here look up some information about other religions and child molesting/rape cases just to further prove a point but I won't (probably proved it already).
Explain Wennatchee, Bakersfield, the McMartins, and the Amiraults under your story here.
It doesn't match what numerous cases have shown: a person can be convicted of sexually molesting a child even when there is zero evidence other than the testimony of the child.
My daughter come forward to me on Feb 12, 2012. That day well night will be one I will never forget.. It was 705pm I'm walking into the kitchen when she breaks down and tells me she needs help that she can't do it no more. I proceed with what I was doing and told her to keep talking when i noticed she was crying. I sat down in the chair and had her come set down in front of me where she hestiately began telling the me heart wrenching details of what had been done to her on several occassions.. I became so angry then so sad my daughter had experienced the one thing in life I had been threw myself that I prayed everyday she'd never go threw.. I attempted calling her dad and my family to come to the house.. boy was that a mistake.. My family disowned my girls and I because the person that did this to my daughter is my nephew.. We've been going back and forth with the district attorneys office where they are wanting us to dismiss the case with hopes he will confess before statue of limitations run out after she turns 18. I've been furious with this because I am a victim of child rape and battery and my predator never got charged cause they knew all the right people at that time. So now I'm wanting them to push this in front of the grand jury and get a true bill.. yet they tell me its more less his word versus hers.. Personally I dont care because I want to fight for my child til theres nothing left and show her I did all I could for her to get her justice and not feel the rest of her life like I have known I didn't get that chance or voice.. I would like to know if anyone has any advice or knowledge that may help or just words of wisdom??
My children were molested by a husband and wife who were our neighbors and baby sat our children. They have a son who was about 19 that also sexually abused my children. The woman is well known in the community because she is in the theater everyone thinks she is sweet. My children were babies, 5 and almost 3 when they mentioned some of the abuse that was taking place and what HELL we went through after that day. Not only were these people not arrested but yes the did deny doing any of it and they hired a lawyer the very next day and were never questioned or interviewed. The DA did say that it would be very dif. for a jury to believe because they are white and a woman is involved! WTF. They finally moved away but my children esp. the oldest has flashbacks and it's devastating. Why are there so many child molesters everywhere? Yes, I said everywhere. Because they are not being held responsible for their crimes, the laws make it almost impossible and only a % of victims even report. They are molesting and creating molesters, however I want to state that I do not mean that every one who is molested goes on to molest....NO. But the son of this couple was clearly molested by his parents, they also have a daughter who was the initial babysitter who brought my children to her parents home. It disgusts me that this family still lives with in an hour from me and they are not all in jail. It is very true, if you are a child molester and you touch little boys and girls and babies, all you have to do is say, "No, I did not do that" and then turn around and hire a lawyer and refuse to take a lie detector test. Oh, and another thing that this woman does is to tell everyone that my husband and I made up this story and that we are crazy. Again, it makes me sick to my stomach that these people are not in jail. My only hope is that someday the daughter will come forward and tell the police what her mother and father do to children, and what they did to her and her brother, my only hope is that justice will be served. My advice to everyone, please start while your children are babies ....always tell them that no one is allowed to touch them, that they should tell you right away, even if it is someone that they know, even if it is someone who is a friend. The truth is, it is most often who you would least expect, someone you have known and trust.....believe me. Go tell your children now, no matter what age.
Tabatha, I want to tell you that I know your pain. Words of wisdom: love your daughter, as much as you want to hate the perpetrator and anyone who seems to take their side, ignore them, do not talk to them, cut them loose. Turn it around, take all that energy and love your daughter to pieces. Definately seek counseling, it is too much to go through alone. And lastly: Know that there is a special place in hell for people who touch children.
Two months ago i recieved a call that my son how have ADHD and language problems was banged from his gym class becausee he pushed a boy and don't say excusme , 2 months later our son tell us that days after the incEdent the counsoler say that he can't go because this 3 same kids accused him of molesting TO one of theM touching him in a inappropiated way which my son DENIED AND complains and teacher don't listen to him SAYING THAT THEY DONT TRUST HIM .
HE TRY TO EXPLAIN About HIS PROBLEM With one of this 3 boys has been bullying him since last year calling him retarded, mental, gay, stupid ,idiot, and more..
THE MOST STRANGE of all this is that the school never tell us about this acussation; today i went to the school to know more about this matter and they tell me that the counsoler was going to call me to explain to me more detaIls about this, and when the counsuler call me he said that HE was going to let Alec join the lockers room again and never explain why he don't let us know about this before making excuses that my son should be more polite and have better manners to say excuse me or pleease.
the worse part is that my son is so frustated because this bully is spreading the molesting history all around the school and almost half of the school knows about this incident this is affecting him a lot,
WHAT SHOULD I DO AS A PARENT TO HELP AND PROTECT MY SON FROM THIS INCIDENT AND DON'T LET HAPPEND AGAING
i was molested as a child by my step uncle. He spent 6 years in prison for sexual batt. on a different minor back in the mid 90's. I was never able to bring myself to turn it in and 20 years later he has done it to my 4 year old. well before she told us because she was scared he had done went to jail for other charges. I reported it to the police and they reported it to DCS. I have been dealing with DCS for over 2 months now. I have done everything and all doctors appts they have asked me to do. They came back and said it was substantiated and got me for neglect of enviorment of my child do to the fact i had let my child around the uncle and i had knew about the past. They are putting me through pure H*ll over it and making it out to be my fault. How can i get help i was never about to get help for myself how can i get justice before he really hurts or kills alittle kid
bacchy's you are completely correct. They convicted my brother yesterday when no one believes he did anything even the people in the courtroom looked shocked when the judge pronnounced him guilty I feel like my life is heading into a hell hole. I'm not sure what will come of this but I will try to keep positive its sad that a lot of young kids don't know how serious this issue is and how it can ruin many lives.... smh the court systems failed me
hi all, my son whom is 10 yrs has recrntly told me has been sexually abused and raped my my 14 yr old step brother 7 times over the last 3 years. im doing my best and have made statements ect. to police but the 14 yr old is deniying all allegations and living a completely normal life as his parents have been told by councellors to keep his life going as normal for time being??? wat the? my son is geting appropriate help as am i but this is becoming very hard and devestating for myself and the destoryed family situation. Can any one give me advice on what i can do from here to try and get a little justice and make sure this boy cannot hurt anyone else and get punished for wat he has done to my son ??
PTDSSNAP. Don't matter where he lives or u check the state it happen in there been people file charges 25-30 years after the abuse each state different get your justice
I have to say that we have always had faith in our justice system...until now. My husband has always been a law abiding citizen and never received anything more than a couple of auto tickets (which he paid right away). He took anywhere from 18 to 24 credit hours in college (yes, he is one of those that made the dean's list every semester with very little studying) while working full-time (night shift). He got his music education degree (and now has the certificate to teach P.E.). When we moved back to TX he was subbing for a school district (with no complaints or problems at all) then worked fast food. He was waiting for a music teaching job to open up. Our daughter, 15 at the time, had a friend that was always over at out house (very troubled, lived with a relative, even lived with us for a brief stint) and told us on numerous occations that she thought of us like her parents and she wanted to be "part of our family" and have a relationship with us the way our kids did. A week later I was asked to come talk to a friend of her family with my daughter. She told me that this girl, our daughter's best friend, was accusing my husband of "touching" her. Long story short, she changed her story numerous times (even said he never actually touched her "there", kept changing the story entirely, kept changing what she was wearing, the fact that she said he did this around 1 am, that she was "thinking she was dreaming so she kept trying to go back to sleep"...etc) and couldn't even get the story straight while she was on the stand. Yes, it did go to trial. Our evidence proved he was not home until close to dawn and we had eye witnesses (it was our son's 17th birthday) including our daughter who was talking to her dad when he got home from work about boyfriend issues (she wanted to stay up to talk to her dad when he got home), I was also still awake because he worked nights and I just didn't go to sleep until I knew he was home...I know it is a strange habit but I am a night owl...anyway, NONE OF THIS WAS ALLOWED TO BE ENTERED AS EVIDENCE DURING THE TRIAL. The judge said it didn't matter what time it happened but the fact that it DID happen (judge has received awards for protecting children from preditors...it is no surprise that she made the statement that it DID happen before the trial was even over). Going back to his arrest, just before he was arrested the detectives told everyone on our street who he was, which house he lived in, and that he was going to be arrested for sexual assault and rape of a minor (that was NOT the charge at all...he was being charged with "indecency with a child"...which sounds bad I know, but is much different than what they said...the girls friend's mother worked for that police department), had their gun to his head in our front yard until he was in their vehicle (he was not resisting in any way and was not even talking except to ask if he could at least let me know what was going on...I found out about all of this by he neighbors and my husband later on), and the detectives came in and banged on my door letting me know they were there and to come out (I was in bed at the time) so when I got up to get dressed the detectives opened up my bedroom door. I, to this day, don't know how long they were at my door or if they came into my room while I was sleeping. The local online paper (before conviction) published his name, personal info, address and a MAP TO OUR HOME on their website. The jail also took away his insulin pump (the shots no longer worked so the VA put him on the pump) and refused to give him any insulin for around 7 hours or so while he was in processing. Anyway, he was guilty the second he stepped into her court room before any trial had been set. Even though our kids didn't make any accusation against their dad, after the initial arrest last year and had not had a trial at this point, my husband was given the exact same conditions as a CONVICTED sex offender except he didn't have to register or take S.O rehab classes. He was estranged from his family (me and the kids) meaning if our daughter was at home he could not live there or have any contact with her whatsoever (we assumed contact meant talking, Internet, texting...apparantly the judge thought differently and that he was not allowed to be on our property at all which we found out later when she summoned him to court and had him arrested for breaking his bail conditions...he did everything he was supposed to but no one ever explained that 'contact' in the legal sense meant something entirely different than what the public thinks is 'contact'). I had back surgery and our daughter had to stay with a friend so he could come home to take care of me and because of that (if she had to come home to get clothes or whatever he would leave the room or go outside until she left which I was always there as were our son and his friends...we were told no one under 17 could be at the house so I posted a sign in the front window stating no one under 17 could be there...if they showed up to see me or our son, Jim would either lock himself in our bedroom or go somewhere else until I told them to leave...he never had "contact" with anyone under 17...come to find out the judge said no one under 18 and he was not allowed on our property which was NOT what was on the conditions list we got from our attorney and yes family paid a lot of money for our attorney and we would have been better off with a public defender or even my husband representing himself would have produced a better end result). I know I said long story short...but believe me this IS short. The judge let the jury go home on a Thursday (not sequestered, but go home to their families) and had them return the following Tuesday to hear closing arguments and then render a verdict. It took less than 15 minutes(ish) for them to find him guilty. They asked for a copy of the transcript but the judge would only let someone read them parts of it. The jury also sentenced him to 10 years probation and if he violated it he would spend 8 years in state prison. The judge also ordered 4 more months in jail, sex offender rehab classes (and "IF" he does good he might be able to come home), 150 hours community service, register as a sex offender for life (not see his daughter until she is 18 and not see any of our grandchildren until THEY ARE 18), he cannot work anywhere that employs under 18 kids OR places that under 18 year olds go/eat/hangout (including, but not limited to: church, the mall, swimming pools/amusement parks, parks, schools, theaters, places to shop including grocery or Walmart type stores, etc.), can't live within a certain distance from any park or school (he will miss our son's high school graduation because of this and our son was never supposed to even go past kindergarten due to pdd nos and sensory processing disorder and now he is graduating on time and with his 'main-stream' class...meaning he is no longer in special ed classes he is just like any regular kiddo), and no apartment complexes due to there being children there. He is basically under house arrest (unofficially...because of all the restrictions he is placed under). Our neighbors look differently at me and our kids now, just imagine how they will look at my husband? This all happened because a girl was jealous of the family our daughter has and she wanted attention from her own family. It was based on a lie, rumors, and assumptions. All the prosecution had was her "story". My husband's civil rights were trampled all over and violated by our justice system. Do we feel that we can trust our legal system? Absolutely not. We are not the only ones this has happened to. It happens more often than the public thinks (or wants to think). The legal system has control over society and they obtained that control by instilling the fear that there is a sex offender around every corner. They plaster the "offender's" info, including home address and place of work, on the sex offender registry for anyone to see. Hence why there are so many 'vigilantes' that not only attack the "offender" but they also harm (physical attack
dear mrs. hopeless 4 years dont mean anything sweety as i said earlier i was with my fiance for almost 10 years now im finding out hes been touching in what ways i dont know yet. but for like 2 years now. i gtrusted him and its ok to question his innocense or not you are right they are not going to arrest him and search your house over his hair color im sorry good luck to you. best wishes
i was raped by my sisters boyfriend when i was 15 years old.i had a baby by him and had to give her up.she is still alive today.i have suffered many years because of what he did to me can i still file charges on him and sue him for what he did to me .i have proof i was raped by him she is alive today
Yes u can still file charges contact DAs office in state this happen most states it's 25 years after victim turns 18 good luck
My child was molested by senior judge Byron kinder in Jefferson city. To date nothing has been done because he is a judge! My child has suffered but Jusge Kinder still sits on the bench. That's our legal system . Power and money .... He is above the law.
My nieces were sexually abused by my sister's husband....
their so-called step-grandfather....of course he says they're lying and he got 2 members of my family to believe him. He was arrested and was denied bail. He now sits in jail (where he belongs) waiting for a trial date. He messed up my nieces's lives.......! And our families' lives. I just want him to be put away forever and not see the light of day until it's judgement day
for him and God. I keep praying that God will help our the girls and our family. He doesn't know how many lives
he's destroyed by his nasty actions. May he burn in HELL!
I don't know what state you live in but in CA it IS as easy as "the child says it happens and you end up in prison!" In the case I was involved in she (the kid) couldn't even tell the jury when or how she was molested just that she was and she slept through it and that is why she "blocked it all out". Lucky for the prosecutor in this case that's all you need because in California THE TESTIMONY OF THE VICTIM ALONE IS ENOUGH TO CONVICT (this was the instructions to the jury word for word).....so my question was "why even have a trial?" I know there are real victims and this is such a sensitive subject for people but there are also way too many false accusations for this to be ignored forever. Kids aren't what they use to be and I don't believe any longer in "kids don't lie about this stuff" mentality. Kids kill, kids rape, and kids will sit and lie to a jury about daddy touching them....I know because it happened in my family!!!
I found out my grandkids 13 yr old half brother has been molesting both of them, a boy and a girl 4 and 3 yrs old. It was reported to dfs and were still waiting for the forensic report. Were shocked and so upset about this. Don't want my grands to have to keep living in the home with the molester, it's so heartbreaking.
THE MICHIGAN PENAL CODE (EXCERPT)
Act 328 of 1931
750.520h Corroboration of victim's testimony not required.
Sec. 520h. The testimony of a victim need not be corroborated in prosecutions under sections 520b to
520g.
that is an excerpt from Michigan's Penal code. Sections 520b-520g are all in reference to sex crimes. So, basically, what it is saying is that no physical evidence is needed outside of a victim's testimony...no "Corroboration".
Now...you say that in Michigan...they require an investigation? Sure...they may "require" it, but that doesn't mean that they need to investigate much.
I am not from Michigan, but I thought I would look it up anyway, because I have had experience in CA with this kind of thing, and contrary to what people might think...it is REALLY easy to convict a sex offender if that is what they want to do. Anyone accused of a sex crime is most often presumed guilty before innocent. That is just the nature of that kind of crime and the stigma that is associated with it.
First i just want to say to michelle... i think you should be going through hell and you dont deserve to have your child at all!!! If your uncle molested you, what the hell are you doing bringing your daughter around him?? YOUR SICK!!! I was molested by my father when i was little, i didnt get flashbacks till i was 13 and they werent very detailed... good for me but unfortunitly not good for the courts!!! Anyway to make a long story kinda short. My parents divorced when i was 10 an my dad got a new girlfriend with 3 children. They were a lil older and he did not do anything to them. When i started getting flashbacks i told my mom. She belived me, but we told his family members an that was they pretty much cut me out of the family. So when i was 30 my 21 yr old cousin contacted me tgrough facebook an told me that my father did the same to her. She had just had a baby and her flashbacks became very vivid after giving birth. Horrible for her, but good for courts.we talked for awhile an she decided to press charges. This was last august. He had to take a lie detector an they asked him if he molested me, if he molested my cousin, and if he molested other children. He answered no to all tgree questions an he failed all three questions. Before this his family really had me thinkig iwas crazy. Deep down i knew i wasnt though an i really never thought this would have happened to her, but in a way it saved my life. For a couple days i just had to sit there an keep telling my self" you are not crazy, this really happened"!!! Before this i always just figured he i couldnt do anything an he would have to answer to god one day. Anyway as of now he has been arrested an he has 14 life sentence counts againt him. He still has to go to prilimanary an then to trial if he doesnt plead out, but if he pleads out he will still get at least one life sentence count against him. Im kinda upset about tge fact when i was younger an before this happeed to my cousin nobody belived me an it was just easier to cast me out of the family. If they would have belived me this would have never happened, but then again if this wouldnt have happened he would have i would have never got justice on earth because i didt have enough proof. And of course there are the children that he was a weekend father to that dont belive he did this an still let him around their children an alone too. I guess they will learn an i hope their childrens lives being ruined isnt the end result. Thank you for this site and thank you for reading my story...
How about when an adolescent female who has 2 gay female parents and mental health problems of being a cutter accuses a college boy of sexual assault a year after the apparent event. The boy met her at a convention and hung out 2 times due to the girls interest. The girl tells him she is a senior in high school when she is not and is really almost 15. He is from another state. He believes she saw him with his current girlfriend on face book and is jealous. He denies anything serious other than chatting on face book and twitter. Is this manipulate girl going to convince a court? She is apparently a star on the debate team in highschool and is an only child. This passive college kid has already been charged for probably cause. Why would a court want to do this on this girl statement and on facebook does look around 18 or older
Remember there are teen liars out there. They know what they are doing and the trouble they can cause an innocent person. For someone to be labled a sex offender when they are not one pisses me off.
I was molested from the age of four by an Uncle. Then my brother started at age 12 until 16. It is my word against his. My uncle, God is rectifying the situation far faster than I. My brother, it is pushed into the closet and I KNOW that he is still messing up childrens lives. Am I evil for judging him?
My boyfriend is being accused of molesting his best friends 14 yr old sister. he is 24. She is saying that he went into her room one night after everyone went to bed and made sexual offers and touched her. He admits to entering her room (which was actually her brothers room, so obviously he didnt enter with intent) for a guitar pic. She was texting a friend and made an inappropriate comment about said friend being sexually active. He out of consern for this sister-like figure, asked if she had done the same thing? They spoke a moment longer and he left. He did stay the night there because i had to work early.
In my presence this girl was wearing provacative clothing and bouncing around, appearing to look for attention.
I do not believe this girl. She still has his pictures on facebook and is still friends with him via fbook. if you were so traumatized then wouldnt you cut off all ties? Also she spoke to me and said "im sorry hes in so much trouble, i think he should be in trouble but not that much. "
ill admit, this girl doesnt look 14, doesnt dress 14, is constantly around us while we drink. (* i think the mother should hold some responsibilty for the accusations, seeing as how she lets her child be in and encourages a collage age/party aged/drinking enviornment*)
Ultumatly i feel as if this girl had a crush on my boyfriend, created a sexually stimulating conversation and then when she actually felt the intense rush of first time adult conversation got frightened.
anyways im ranting... im just so scared. I know he didnt do it, he has a little girl of his own and would kill someone for hurting her. I cant bare to lose him.
any advice over how i can help his innocence be proven as well as find resources to help pay up. (* right to a fair trial is a paid for benefit*)
Sorry I haven't read everything above, but this whole thing seems to be founded on a false premise: if you are seeking to "convict a sex offender", that is labeling somebody as a "sex offender" before a finding of guilt, are you not *presuming* guilt?
A courtroom trial is meant to be the most rigorous investigation into the facts possible, and given the potential effects on the lives of the individuals involved often will be. If the evidence is strong enough that child molesters are clearly getting away with things they shouldn't, then why are juries letting so many people go? The truth is that if the evidence is inconclusive then neither the jury nor you can be certain, no matter how much you a priori want to believe that a defendant is guilty.
What angers me is the fact that while it's true that molestors do not just suddenly stop molesting for years at a time.(they continue,they don't just stop)!! i've heard about people being prosecuted after being blamed for one incident that supposedly occured 10,15 years in the past.that's BS...if that person only molested once that long ago then this person isn't a molestor . if the only proof is the word of the vicctim who makes the claim ,without any proof otherwise,it's hearsay..empty accusations//but yet i know for a fact that people have been convicted on hearsay that an incident occured years ago //i'd love to know how this happens..but it does!
I am in a situation where a man has been indicted for sexual assault of a child (this is no easy feat - getting this indictment) - they don't pass those out without pretty convincing evidence. Personally, as the mother of the child - I know it happened. If he pleads or whether he goes to trial and is found guilty I am being told he will get probation. Is that really punishment for a child molester? Why are our laws so lax in this regard? If I had known the hell I would go through by reporting it, I would have hired somebody to kill him instead.
I agree with motherofchild!! ^^^^^
I am perplexed as to why My daugther's sex offender ( My husband) was indicted by a grand jury in Maine and has yet to be arrested? his trial starts the end of June. Can anyone help with some advice? I am going crazy knowing this SOB is out there around other children:
Dear Mr Lepage (Governor), I am in dire need of your help. My husband was indicted by a grand jury for molesting his biological daughter and trial is set for end of June. Here is the kicker. He was NEVER arrested. In fact he is running free in the State of Maine since Dec 1 2011. I am extremely upset that this man is free to walk around and perhaps molest other children. His court home address reflects he is NOW living with his brother who has a child in the home that is living with an accused child molester. Please Help me understand the law? I feel this is a cover up by the State. Any other State that indicts a person for molesting children are incarcerated with bail set.
Are you sure he has not been arrested. In my case, the arrest, arraignment, setting of bail, bail set and paid all happened in one swoop and the guy never saw the inside of a jail cell. In Texas, you can go to the county sheriff's website and see if there is an arrest warrant. I bet they have something like that. When there is an indictment, that goes straight to the sheriff's department and an arrest warrant is issued.I can almost GUARANTEE you he will not go to trial in June. This one I am speaking of the outcry occurred in November 2010 and we are just now (probably, maybe next time, maybe next week, soon soon soon) going to trial ...
My son just talked to his counselor about his dad and his father's friend molesting him. Over the weekend, his dad was questioned by social services. Again my son was questioned today. (Now I have to be questioned tomorrow.) When I spoke to my son and asked him how he is doing, He said, "Mom, they don't believe me." My heart is broken and I am really worried for my son. Please pray for us. I desperately need the truth to come out on this situation and protection for my son.
There is absolutely no Justice, or protection, for the children and family of incestual sexual abuse. Blame Blame Blame! Sick mess, wondering why my poor daughters were ever taught to speak their truth. SAD MESS
I am married to a 85 year old pedophile who molested his children and his grandchildren and my grandchildren. Most of his family knew what he was and they never told me. Oh yes one did and I didn't believe her as she is a nut case. She sent her 3 youngest children to be with us every weekend for 5 years and he molested the one boy in my basement for those 5 years. My son and his wife and child live in a house he owns and they were told the house would go to them. The sad part is he is evicting after all the money my son put into fixing up the house. He is divorcing me after I agreed I would take care of him because of his age and health. Now I will have to pay him to get rid of him. His actions are not considered in a divorce. My only hope is that he goes to meet God face to face first. My grandchildren are doing good but they have to get rid of their animals. My son just opened up a new business and renting a place on such a short notice was impossible. We finally found them a place on this side of the city where I live. To our good fortune I knew the owner from years ago and he let them rent it. They probably will stay with me for a week or so until they unpack the pod they rented for the move. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel and will get the girls into counseling when school is out. They still have not arrested him or charged him. He admitted it to cps and the police but because of his age and health they did nothing. When they first saw him he was in the hospital and very sick. He was not eating or drinking as he was trying to kill himself. Now he is a lot healthier so something may come of this. One of his children told me that there was a woman with her child there taking care of him. I never would have let a child near him. It is very hard when you love someone and then you find out something about them that makes you hate them. The mixed emotions are very hard to deal with. I give credit to all the women who kick the SOB out and try to get on with their life. My soon to be ex-husband was a hoarder and getting rid of all of his crap has helped me be free of a lot of the pain. I will probably be able to live on very little and will not have to toss out food because it is too old to use. I am able to clean my basement and my garage. It took a lot of man hours to get to this point and it feels great. I have very little contact with his family as I am so mad at them for putting my granddaughters at risk to be molested. His name is different then ours as I never changed my name to his and my house will not be on the sex offender registry. Good riddance to bad rubbish Reverend Yes that is correct Reverend
My friend was accused 4 years ago by his ex-wife of molesting his ex-step daughter and his daughter. CPS was involved for almost a year and dropped the case. they found him to not be a harm to the children. then 4 months later her was arrested and was bailed out. His ex-mother-in-law was teaching the oldest girl good touch bad touch and said that she told her some things but has never liked my friend. The man from cps didnt write anything down when he went to his house and talked to him and later got fired for lieing. he is now in the army and the court says they are waiting for him to return before they have a court date. its been over 2 years since he went to jail and hasnt had a court date since. in the cps papers it said the girls missed their daddy and wanted to know where he was. the girls were around the ages of 1 and 3 when this supposedly happened. there was no physical evidence and the girls never talked about it after that. he now gets supervised visits with his daughter and she show no signs of anything. how long does it usually take from the time he went to jail before he will have a court date and something done. He knows his ex-wives family made it all up so that he couldnt get the kids in the divorce. How long does he have to wait for a court date before they drop it. They dont have enough evidence.
on may 9th i was arrested without hand cuffs because my 14 year old stepson said that sexually molested him when he was 11 years old... i remember when he was 11 he was never around because his dad and i moved around quite alot and knowing what a terrible human being his mother is she might have molested him herself because she loves to have sex so much with both men and women the impression i get from the dad that's why they broke up while she was pregnant with him... my court date is set for the 31st of july without any froof whatsoever but i'm out on bail until then... the little boy who i cared for ever since he was 6 yrs old is standing by and watch me suffer and although she can be cruel i never once disrespected her when we spoke it was only about the boy, she could not keep a job and she would have sex with her bosses and i gave her money for medication to help her cure an std she had still has it because up to the other day the boy said when he held her around her waiste in a hug position he smelled something reaaly bad, although he told me i didnt answer him, i told him to talk to his dad about it. His dad told him that where she pushed him through that's the place that is rotting. i heard this and became disgusted although i knew before... would cry on my shoulder as a little boy and said how much his mother would leave them alone at nights with many different men, oh yeah she has 3 kids for 3 men and none of us (the girlfriends and wives) of the fathers, like her because if she can't get her way with the dad's she would try to get her way with us like she ran things... i remember she called my hubby knowing that we lived to together and that we were going to get married telling him that she wanted to live with him and send the other two to live with their dad's and they both could raise their child together... how do think that made me feel after all i did for her and all that time she was plotting against me... she lives with an aunt of hers and telling me how the woman was Bitch, after the woman let her into her home to live. any where she could find us she would try to embarrass me until one day she came to my home and i drew two knives at her determined to cut her deeply... no i did not do it.... and look what she did do me but she is going to feel my wrath one of these days man, just knowing how she is slandering my name and she knows i have a much better character than her and living a much more comfortable life she wants it! the battle has begun but the war is not yet over! "vengeance is mine said the Lord," and i shall have my day! children do lie and money is his motivation and he cries whenever he does not get his way...we missed one year out of his life from the time i knew him and that was when he was 11 yrs old, boy they can't even do math much less lie properly. i pray everyday that Jehovah will take me out of this darkness but i will never forgive them much less forget! thanks
Dirk 23 months ago
I'm sorry if you were the victim of abuse, but please realize that false accusations are a serious problem. It's not fair for a child to make up a story and completely ruin a man's life.